Thursday, 19 August 2010

There is Words Worth for @mrwordsworth

There is a Canadian
I call him brother

In verse he is
But negative he is not

Of days and nights
His verse is bright

In Scottish Clan
He's descendant

An ocean separates us
But electronic tides unites us

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Monday, 9 August 2010

Grumpy bastard

Sight degrading rapidly as it acclimatises to non contact use, I have been getting progressively more irritable as my wife will attest.

I went down her throat for suggesting that we go and get some essentials today on the way to the dinner party we were going to, just because we would have had to walk some distance.

I feel really bad about that. But I'm getting a bit apprehensive walking anywhere now. I fail to see the Kerb as I'm crossing roads, I'm unable to make out anyone coming towards me with any certainty and as for being able to read anything like prices etc... Well...

I'm having to squint quite badly right now just to write this. My eyes are beginning to hurt.

Keratoconus is the problem, and not just your normal type. I happen to suffer from that and a slightly more rare form called Posterior Keratoconus. The former affects the surface of the cornea and the latter affects the rear of the cornea. I'm very lucky, that the odds are so high that your only really supposed to suffer from one type, I have both.

Enough with the self-pity now, I want to go for a short break away from the normal daily trudge of life, but alas it been left too late. Looks like I'm stuck in Glasgow for the duration :(

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, 4 August 2010

The things we take for granted.

I speak of not the general things, like electricity, the availability of food and drink, nor of the technology that surrounds us, but of more physical things.

To feel the breeze through your hair and on your face on a summers day, to smell the flora around you and hear the buzzing of the insects not to mention the song in every birds heart. To see, ah yes to see vast expanses of land from a hilltop, watch a sunset or sunrise, or the dappling effect of sunlight forcing itself through the foliage of the trees in a forest full of mystical silence

Of these things we take for granted, we think that they will always be there to partake of whenever we wish, but to be truthful, we in the west rarely take the time. Before we know it, it's taken away from us.

We believe that there will always be time, but time conspires against us, we grow old, our eyes are not as good and we begin to have ailments that prevent us from manoeuvring.

My advice, is take the time to stop, go and visit your surroundings, even locally, you will be happily surprised at what is on your doorstep. Spend a little time in silence, remove yourself from the race of rats and machinery and enjoy the natural wonders that surround all of us. It will lift you up inside and cleanse you of the pollution of modern life.

Sit back, and let the world career on towards it's oblivion in technology and noise, give yourself a little sanity back, if only for a short time.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Monday, 2 August 2010

I can't see it far enough.

I feel like I'm at the start of a downhill slide. My sight is really getting bad now, I'm going to have to give up so much, it's hard for anybody else to really understand.

At the moment I am still legal to drive, providing I wear both my contacts and glasses at the same Time. This is starting to become worse now, so pretty soon if the decline of my sight continues at the same rate that it has done for the last 4 to 6 months I will have to stop driving.

Any activity sports like hiking and hill walking are already becoming problematic, I have monocular double vision in both eyes, this plays havoc with my depth of field when I'm only wearing my contacts, I now have difficulty positioning my feet in safe places when hiking and I'm more prone to stumbling or miscalculating where my feet are going.

Sorry if this entry is a little down, just that I need to get these things out.

Cycling is also starting to become a problem,, much for the same reasons as for driving.

I was always a keen DIY'er but this being denied me also, there is no accuracy in anything i do now,

The joy is slipping way... I can't even look at a vista in front of me, it's so blurred that I may as well have stayed at home and looked at the walls.

I work in IT as some of you know, and I suffer there also, even as I type this on the iPad it is very difficult to see what I'm typing , admittedly I'm doing this with nothing in or on my eyes, but this is because I have now got to a stage that the glasses I have are no longer doing me any service, I see almost as well without them as with them, that is not very well at all.

I fear what the future brings me, a decline in independence, patronising prats that treat you like a fucking child, just because your having a few difficulties. The prospect of being made redundant on the basis that i've become inefficient due to my problem sight...

I'll leave it at that for now, before I got and do something bad...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Sunday, 1 August 2010


The screams are unbearable.
They torment me in silence

This taunting in hiding
The screaming inside

Where to hide?
Where to run?

Compartmentalise you say
But it screams more and more

A soundproof closet
In a corner of the mind

It subsides
But for a short time

Until the opening
Brings it out of hiding

And then once again
In silence I scream.

All within.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Gone in sightless insignificance

I sit
In darkness

You see
I don't

I'm missed
But not noticed

This light
I can't see

In daylight
There's night

In night
There is sound

It screams
Let me out

I am sitting
But standing

To bed
In oblivion

I'm reborn
In light

A new day
A new vision

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad