Today I have really become hacked off with everything. Work, transport, home stuff etc...
My condition is getting worse, I feel that I am starting to struggle even with my contacts and glasses on, and when I get home, well let's just say I have to take my contacts out and change my glasses, so I may as well have fog in front of me wherever I go for the clarity I see.
My brain has been progressively numbed today, problems, problems and more problems put me to a level of brain dead hat has far surpassed anything that has gone before.
I came home to a complete inability to think. I am slowly losing the will to keep going, my mind is fucked with this bloody condition of the eyes. I struggle so much just to focus out the double vision so I can read anything now.
I wish I could just not bother to move from the bed in the mornings right now. I force myself out every morning, I try to keep going at work, but right now I feel like giving up and telling them to stuff it. But then I'd be finically fucked as well as having fucked sight.
I'm at a point I think that I don't know what to do anymore, I have become hacked off with everything. I can't do anything in the house anymore, diy is out. I'm not confident walking either, so going for a hike is out. I don't think I can trust my sight if I were to go cycling. I certainly can't drive anymore and public transport is utter shite, I had to wait nearly an hour the other night because something had happened to the bus I was waiting on :(
Sorry this is a rant I know, can't help it, I just don't see things improving in the short term, and even though I am on a waiting list for a corneal graft, I don't feel to optimistic for some reason.
I shall now stop, before I feel the urge to take my frustration out on this computer...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
No comments:
Post a Comment